Lying voices

I get tired of the lying voices in my head that speak a constant barrage of negativity.

What keeps them alive is their longterm residency in my head, and sheer familiarity that made my listening to them a habit.

Isn’t that what we fall into, habits of thought?  Bad habits, but we don’t realize it.  Self-limiting or self-destructive habits.  Most of them rooted in fear.  Fear of what?  Failure most likely.  Fear, fear, fear, fear.

We are asked in 12-step recovery to, after taking a “searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”, to “Admit to God, ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs”.

In my experience, the exact nature of most of our wrongs is fear.  Fear leads us to compromise.  Fear can lead us to steal, lie, cheat, cut corners, be unkind to others, put on a front of arrogance, just to name a few.

What can we do about this ever-present fear in us?  Can we shut it off, learn to ignore it?  Drown it out with other thoughts?

I think so.

Set Free

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About Chaz

Husband, father, brother, son, friend. Sober member of AA. Grateful for the life God gave me and for the happy struggle of recovery.
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6 Responses to Lying voices

  1. You’re right – fear pretty much tops the list. Any other 4th steps I have done are just riddled with fears. Fear begets anger which begets a whole slew of character defects and crappy things I do to other people. What am I afraid of losing? What am I afraid of not getting? ugh…so much to mine in such simple language.

    Thank you for this 🙂

    Blessings,
    Paul

  2. Good stuff Chaz, keep up the good work. It is needed now more than ever.

  3. Heidi says:

    I’ve been journaling about fear, as well. Catching the fear when it first squeeks isn’t easy for me. Like you say, it’s well-rooted in our habitual thinking. I took a page in my journal and wrote “What if…” about 15 times down the left side of the page. Each day when I journal, I begin with that page and finish a sentence from whatever is lurking in the corner of my mind.

    The pure dread of possible outcomes motivates much of my behavior. I’m trying to let my conversations with God replace that squeeking of the lurker in my head. Fear or fellowship… really it’s a choice I’ve begun to recognize.

    I’m afraid this comes off like I have the answers, which I don’t. I have the ‘issues’ and I struggle with fear like the proverbial rival team. I want to squash it, stomp it, trap it, poison it… make it suffer, but I’m powerless. He’s showing me that. So powerless. That’s why I need to keep conversing like a crazy woman. Conversing with Him and fellowship is the answer for me.

    Oftentimes, He speaks through a book or a meeting online (I can’t get to f2f meetings from our isolated work site). Fear vs Fellowship. I just want to stay on the right team, which He makes possible when I’m brutally honest with myself and others.

    I’ve not read another blog post for many months and just wondered how you’re doing, buddy. Sending prayers for you and yours today!

    • Chaz says:

      Doing Great Heidi! Happy New Year.

      Thanks for popping in. Yes I have been somewhat scarce lately. Busy with life, not the bad stuff.

      How about you?

      Hope to be around more in new year.

      All the best!

      Chaz

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