Raising Teens: Do you ever feel like puking?

Do feelings of being used by your teen ever leave you feel like puking?

You love them from the bottom of your heart. You adore them. You celebrate their achievements, give them things you only dreamed of when U were one, make time to help them, drive them here, drive them there, pay for this, pay for that, cook food they like, counsel them, mentor them, then they break your heart and leave you feeling like…. well… puking (at best).

Requests to do the clearly stated chores… which still only amount to 2% of the housework are responded to with reluctance, eye rolling, avoidance, and arguments.

They report to you how their friends don’t have to do chores and their parents give them what they want.

You redecorate and re-furnish their rooms only to have them be kept in squalor.

You take them on vacations only to have them argue and fight with each other starting as early as the passport office, then on the plane, then while on a tropical beach, and continuing til arrival home when you ask them to unpack their own luggage.

I am ranting, yes, because I am determined to not take it personally and love them anyway. Believing more and better for them than they can for themselves at this stage.

But it hurts! At least it does today. Yet I know this too will pass.

Parents, step-parents, grandparents, guardians, would you throw me a lifeline here? Just for today?

Thanks.

Chaz.

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About Chaz

Husband, father, brother, son, friend. Sober member of AA. Grateful for the life God gave me and for the happy struggle of recovery.
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15 Responses to Raising Teens: Do you ever feel like puking?

  1. Still Loving Him says:

    Having teenagers is complete and utter hell. There is no other way to describe it. I hate it I can’t wait until they are grown and out of the house. I’ve never had anyone drive me as mad as a teenager, not even my cheating husband.

    • Chaz says:

      Well then…. wow πŸ™‚ That is saying a lot. At least we are not alone. Yet, of our combined kids, only one is really giving us a run for our money. Others not quite as much. At least we are not alone in these experiences.

      I do believe this time will pass. Some of the biggest hell on wheels teens turn out to be the most responsible adults. But there is no formula I am sure. Thanks for the comment.

  2. Debbie says:

    Oh Chaz . .Praying with you for boatloads of grace, mercy and love! Those teen years were some of the hardest I ever went through! I have to be careful not to look back and just feel like such a failure about it all! God bless you as you love your teens.

    • Chaz says:

      Thanks Debbie…. when push comes to shove, I always find wisdom and support in the Sermon on the Mount…. “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who spitefully use you”. Applies to our family members too.

      I take it you are past your teen raising and on to adlults?

  3. Chaz says:

    Hi Auntie Caddo….. Yes, you spared yourself the grief! Yes, will keep chin up…. which is one reason I am coming here to spew rather than tear a strip off the teen in question. From bottom of our hearts we love her…. we mean that. It is just boggling and painful to see her turn into such a self-serving … honestly, I don’t know what. But yes, it will not last. Thanks again. Chaz

  4. jadedlou says:

    I hear you! I swear we all deserve some kind of party or award, or least a large latte when this is all over!!!!

  5. Number 9 says:

    I have middle schoolers but one will be turning thirteen this summer. uh oh. i launched a link up at my blog today called sober sundays so go link to it if you feel like it!

  6. Ike says:

    Your post reminded me.. of myself.. before God saved me. I hated the God that loved me…..and I loved the things God hates. I was “dead” in sin. Thankfully He raised this dead sinner to life.

    I will pray that God will take your children… and give them to His Son.

    • Chaz says:

      Thanks Ike.

      My post was a bit of a therapeutic rant in a time of frustration.

      Yah… I suppose that is how we treat God… like a bunch of selfish teenagers.

      Good parallel. Thanks for the prayer and encouragement bro.

      Chaz

  7. Our teen makes me want to puke, scream, cry, punch a wall, and pull my hair out! It is a hard day today. I hope it passes quicker rather than slower. πŸ™‚

    • Chaz says:

      Yes, if ever there were a place for living a day at a time, it is in raising teens.

      Yet, glad to say, this is part of a formula that is getting us through it.

      I wrote the original post at a time of great pain and frustration with one of out teens. Frankly, things have not got any better with the teen’s behaviour. But we have got better.

      My wife and I have focused on a few key practices such as remaining connected to one another so we are not fighting this thing alone, remaining rested and focused on the important more than the urgent, focusing on the victories no matter how small, and simply staying open to wisdom and gratitude at all times.

      Man what a difference! And we are confident that the difference observed in us will at some point, affect the situation for the positive. How can’t it?

      Ciao.

      Chaz

      • Good advice! We are going through huge trials with this and are beginning to try to focus more on the practices you have mentioned. We may need to step it up a bit though. Because we are getting it full blast. We have had a small victory last night

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