It’s a “THROUGH” thing…

Even if we have been victorious in many challenges in the past, it is not uncommon for us to have some thoughts or feeling while in a new challenge whisper to us that this one is the big deal-buster!  Our head may suggest,

“We’ve made it amazingly through many challenges, but this one is going to sink us”.

This internal dialogue is not valid.  Previous challenges have refined and verified our ability to overcome and persevere, so why not believe in who we are?  As victorious veterans of life, we are in a better place today than any previous time in our lives!

Where this misleading internal dialogue comes from, who knows.  Not important.  Just know that we don’t need to listen to it.

As a parent, step-parent, husband and manager, there are no shortage of new challenges that come my way on a daily basis.  When they do, I make high priority of reminding myself, this is a “Through” thing.  Not an “in it forever” thing, not a “this is the big one that will sink me/us” thing.  It is simply another in a series of challenges otherwise known as life that I/we are moving through.

Plenty of proven old saying, distilled over the decades and centuries support this outlook.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going”. (by Winston Churchill nonetheless)

“This too shall pass”.

I am so glad to have been able to share this outlook with my teenage son recently.  His soccer team made the playoffs.  They finished second overall in a league of 12 teams.  They have proven themselves to be a great team; he has proven himself to be a great player. 

Yet he was quite nervous and doubtful of his and his teams ability to succeed in the playoffs.  I was able to help him see that with his past successes, there was no reason to believe this next game had any greater risk of being a loss than the games prior, most of which they won.

His nervousness lessened, he trotted onto the field with greater confidence, and they even won!

Similar situations have happened just this week with business matters and other family matters.  The challenges continue to be things we move THROUGH, and not things we remain STUCK IN.

When the inevitable challenges arise in life, my wife and I are much more  prone to helping one another realize that this is simply another “THROUGH” thing.  So the sooner we get on with calmly and acceptingly doing what we can, the sooner we will be on the other side of it.

Ciao.

Chaz

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About Chaz

Husband, father, brother, son, friend. Sober member of AA. Grateful for the life God gave me and for the happy struggle of recovery.
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7 Responses to It’s a “THROUGH” thing…

  1. I love this, Chaz, and I’ve definitely found that the more practice I get at walking through difficult situations, the less powerful and persistent those negative voices become.

    • Chaz says:

      Hi Heather! Yes, agreed. Like so many other attitudes and outlooks, we can practice this one into a habit as well. A much better habit than my former habits of freaking out, panicking, blaming, and automatically presuming the worst.

      I just went through a through thing yesterday that I could have done better at. The parts where I fell short really affected my wife and others. There is a big consequence to buying into the negative, even in part.

      Glad to say it wasn’t any worse though. And much was handled effectively. And now we have moved through it significantly. By the end of the day, we will have moved through even more.

      I so value having learned this lesson. I work it daily.

      Ciao.

      Chaz

  2. Tom Raines says:

    Great point Chad. A swtich seemed to go off in me when I said I was through with alcohol and admitted I was powerless. In previous attempts and other addictions when I am going to “try to quit” it never ends. But being through with it personally and giving it to God made all the difference. Also the key thing that hit me here is the internal dialogue thing. Sitting in those AA rooms I realized the internal dialogue is not healthing and thus began my search for affirmations to replace that dialoge with a dialogue of God’s promises to us. That dialogue has be joy filled while my personal dialogue by itself can be dangerous.

    • Chaz says:

      Hi Tom…

      Yes, re-programming whatever it is inside of us that speaks the internal dialogue is essential. Mine tries to talk me down continually. But thankfully, less and less as I retrain what I listen to.

      I believe sayings and slogans help us do this because they are memorable. They are soundbytes of truth that usually come across in some positive way such that they are easy for us to re-access and thus program them into our thinking.

      I think this is one reason people learn and recite scripture. And others AA slogans and quotes from the Big Book. Pretty much any source of inspiration is better than the negative alcoholic or addictive thinking many of us had.

      Here’s to new thinking!

      Ciao.

      Chaz

  3. kloppenmum says:

    I love the idea of new thinking. It’s the old thinking when we’re under stress which seems to be a problem for many people, I know it is for me. I also agree that most things go better when we stop fighting the situation and just ‘get through’ to the other side.

    • Chaz says:

      Hi Karyn…. yes, changing our thinking is one of the toughest things. I believe because it is so embedded in who we are. Infact, it is in my experience the biggest component of who we are.

      I read a book recently by Dale Carnegie. Approx 300 pages. In it, he tells about having been asked what the geatest key to success is that any of us can have. After having studied for years and written many other books, Dale Carnegie’s reply was, ‘Our key to our success is how we think’.

      That simple and that credible. Yet how much time do most of us spend improving the way we think unless we are forced to do so through pain, loss, or some form desperation?

      In my experience, not many. Yet the gift of better thinking is sitting there waiting for all of us. It is there for the taking. And most of it is free.

      Thanks for popping by. I cruised by your site a moment ago and look forward to reading more.

      Ciao.

      Chaz

  4. kloppenmum says:

    Pleased you liked my blog. Yes, I think it often does take a ‘crunch’ event to make us self-reflect and really address what’s going on in our lives.

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